


Instead of Being Sixteen, Burning Up a Bible, Feeling Super Super..!

by Lethal_Dose



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Pet Names, Sylvain Jose Gautier's Father's Bad Parenting, Teen Angst, Trans Female Character, Trans Hubert von Vestra, Trans Male Character, Trans Sylvain Jose Gautier, mercedes is mentioned in one line, this is so cheesy and i am not the least bit sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-28 23:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30147342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lethal_Dose/pseuds/Lethal_Dose
Summary: "Sylvain!"The redhead jerked away from where she was leaning towards the mirror, eyes wide. She grabbed a tissue and scraped the lipstick off her lips, wincing when it stained. She scrubbed the rest of it off as best she could, before rushing downstairs to greet her father with a shaky smile.Or; transwoman Sylvain, and names.
Relationships: Claude Von Riegan/Lorenz Hellman Gloucester (Mentioned), Sylvain Jose Gautier/Hubert von Vestra
Kudos: 12





	Instead of Being Sixteen, Burning Up a Bible, Feeling Super Super..!

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so... This was supposed to top out at 1.5k. Obviously it didn't do that, but I hope y'all enjoy!

_"Sylvain!"_

The redhead jerked away from where she was leaning towards the mirror, eyes wide. She grabbed a tissue and scraped the lipstick off her lips, wincing when it stained. She scrubbed the rest of it off as best she could, before rushing downstairs to greet her father with a shaky smile. "Yeah, Pops? How was-"

"Go help your brother rake the leaves off the front yard." Well, that was that, then. At least she wasn't about to get screamed at for something she had no idea she did, and cleaning up their _prestigious_ front yard would hopefully soothe the ache in her mind. Of course, being around Miklan created a whole _new_ ache, but that was irrelevant. Cleaning the yard wasn't a big deal, most of the time. Miklan did all the easy tasks that didn't require much coordination, and Sylvain did.. Everything else. All the bagging, bundling, and anything that required tying strings was Sylvain's job. It wasn't that Sylvain minded this task, however, she _did_ mind that Miklan got annoyed when Sylvain was given credit for doing work. It made working with the older male such a chore that Sylvain just kept her head down and got the task over with. It went as smoothly as it could, all things considered, and Sylvain breathed a sigh of relief as she walked back into the house and shrugged off his jacket.

That relief didn't last long. Sylvain's father was standing not too far away from the door, arms crossed and holding an all-too-familiar bullet of lipstick. He looked disappointed, and _angry._ He held up the tube with a brow raised, voice firm and already slightly raised. "Care to tell me who this belongs to, Sylvain?" He asked, already searching Sylvain's face for any hint of lies. Sylvain forced her face to stay calm, holding her hand out to take a closer look at it, hoping and praying her hands weren't shaking. She feigned a look of recognition, and opened the tube just to make sure. "Oh, this is Ingrid's. She came over to hang out with me and Felix earlier, she must've left it in the bathroom. I'll give it to her tomorrow, she'll probably call me about it in the next half hour," Sylvain explained, laughing nonchalantly, as if she was nothing more than a little amused that his friend left her makeup in the bathroom. The anger subsided temporarily in her father's face, and he turned on his heel and walked away without another word. There was no apology, nothing more than a grunt of acknowledgement, and Sylvain was left alone. She sighed in relief, tucking the lipstick into her pocket, and was about to go upstairs when a strong hand on her shoulder made her pause.

"Your shitty friends didn't come over today." Miklan helpfully provided, thankfully far enough from their father that he wouldn't be heard. "Who's makeup is that, shithead?" Sylvain, in a vain attempt to get out of the situation, tried to back up, only to be held fast by Miklan's hand. A sense of panic bubbled in her stomach, and she forced out a laugh. "I'm not going to tell Pops that I had a random girl over and she left her lipstick in the bathroom, Miklan. There's no point in starting _that_ discussion, right?" There was a hard edge to her voice, nearly daring Miklan to try. "Just like the conversation about how fast Pops is going through the liquor cabinet doesn't need to be brought up, right?" She glared back at her brother, wincing when he gripped her shoulder too hard to be anywhere near comfortable. "You shithead- Fine. Fine, keep your little fucktoy's lipstick around until you can remember her name to give it back to her."

"I will, thanks! Bye Miklan." Sylvain got out of his grasp and scurried off to her room, shutting and locking the door, collapsing onto the bed with a near-silent sigh of relief. That was too goddess-damned close. Her father thought you could become gay through a bad blood transfusion, she didn't even want to _consider_ his opinion on transgender individuals. She refused to mention that some of her friends had begun to transition, anyone who met him was immediately introduced as their gender, regardless of any past identifications. There was no way she would let him misgender her friends. For now, though, she needed to put away her makeup. Thankfully the lipstick was the only thing that she left in the bathroom, but she pulled mascara and foundation out of her hoodie pocket and pushed it into the bottom of a bag she claimed was filled with gym clothes and the like. It kept everyone out of her stuff, including some of her more nosey friends (Felix, of course, being one of the biggest contenders). In truth, there were no dirty or sweaty clothes in there, but she stashed her more.. Feminine clothes, nicked from various friend who were around her height, and her makeup. No one touched that bag, and it was important that it stayed that way.

Of course, she wasn't _totally_ closeted, but oddly enough, she was out to the strangest of people. The chess club all knew about it, though it hadn't been intentional — Hubert had found out via Edelgard, when she had asked to tell him, and Edelgard herself was an interesting case; Sylvain had been on an online forum for the local LGBT community, back when she had been far more insecure in her identity, and Edelgard had recognized her soon after (and, because of this, Sylvain learned that Edelgard was a lesbian who was truly wise beyond her years, which Sylvain still felt sad over as a fellow traumatized teenager). Edelgard had gotten permission from Hubert to disclose that he was transgender, and Edelgard had asked for permission to give Hubert the same information about Sylvain. Claude and Lorenz found out rather accidentally, and nearly gave Sylvain a panic attack. The four had been chatting in their designated clubroom, waiting for their study hall and lunches to end, when Hubert began to talk. He had mentioned Sylvain and referred to her as a woman, prompting odd looks from Claude and Lorenz, and he quickly realized his mistake. Lorenz had looked the most surprised, and both were silent, before Claude, ever bold, asked if that tidbit of knowledge was allowed outside the clubroom (it wasn't), and if Sylvain had chosen a different name (she hadn't), and that was that for the time being. Those people knew, as well as another few, the most notable being Mercedes, a sweet woman who had actually been in highschool when Sylvain was a freshman, and had helped her realize some things about herself. The people who one would _assume_ Sylvain would tell, had no idea.

The reasons were simple; it was too much of a risk. Dimitri couldn't keep a secret to save his life, neither could Ingrid, and truthfully, Sylvain was just downright scared to tell Felix. That was an entirely different set of issues that she tried not to think about. The "gym bag" lie was her only buffer against one of them asking too many questions Sylvain wouldn't know how to answer, but thankfully it had worked so far. Shoving the bag into the corner of her room, she sat on her bed, and ran a brush through her hair, getting ready for bed. Tomorrow was another day, right?

School came and went, and on Friday, the chess club met for their weekly tournament, and, as usual, it was only the upperclassmen. The freshman only seemed to come on Wednesdays, when they held what could be deemed "practice", and never came to Friday tournaments. Claude and Lorenz had exited as soon as clubs let out, Claude's hand in Lorenz's back pocket. The two were chatting about something related to a shared AP class, Sylvain wasn't sure what class exactly — She didn't share her AP classes with them. That left just her and Hubert in the classroom together, and after a few more moves, she had him in a proverbial corner. Another few moves and she had won the match, a soft laugh leaving her as she looked at Hubert's exasperated expression. "Not bad, huh?" She teased, leaning forward to steal his king. She set it aside, before leaning back in her chair. "Ugh, I don't want to go home.. Miklan always gets pissy when there's a home football game, despite the fact that I don't play football and it doesn't even _matter."_ She huffed, and raised a brow when Hubert stood and grabbed his bag, then hers as well. "What're you doing with my stuff?"

"Having you spend time with myself and take a break from _certain individuals_ is going to be far more productive than myself or Edelgard getting a call at ten in the evening to hear you whine," Hubert answered, though there was no malice to his words. "And, I know for a fact you would walk home if I don't give you a ride." Sylvain grumbled, but pulled on her jacket and rolled her eyes. "You don't need to expose me like that, jeez.." There was a grin on her face that had never quite left, though, and she followed Hubert out the door with said grin still in place.

She didn't often get invited to his home; as far as she knew, Hubert didn't have an entirely abysmal home life, but his parents were more than a little nosey and intrusive. Pairing that with Sylvain's less than stellar family structure, and the two often just chose to spend time together in public spaces. However, it wasn't _completely_ out of place to be invited to Hubert's home. There were days that Hubert didn't have enough social battery for a public space, and truthfully, Sylvain couldn't care less. If Hubert needed a quieter space, that was fine. Hubert's car was, as always, nearly immaculate. There was an oddly placed bag of.. Something, that Sylvain nearly didn't question, but curiosity took over before she could stop herself. "What's in the bag?"

"A science project." Was the short answer, before Hubert decided that more context was necessary. "The bag is a cooler bag so I can put the specimens in my chest freezer once we get to my home." Hubert said, as if taking 'specimens' home was entirely normal. Sylvain looked understandably confused and shocked, and decided that she had learned enough information about the specimens, and didn't want to know anymore. She buckled the seatbelt and snatched Hubert's small (but steadily growing) collection of CDs. She plucked one that she had planted in the case for exactly this instance, and popped it into the player. She caught his assumedly exasperated eye roll, but when he didn't complain, she didn't eject the CD. It was, unfortunately for Hubert, a _NOW! That's What I Call Music_ CD, Goddess only knows what edition, but it was fairly new. Sylvain did feel slightly bad, knowing this was in no way Hubert's taste in music, and glanced over at the male as he pulled out of the school's parking lot. "Do you want me to change it?"

Hubert shook his head, not taking his eyes off the road as he turned off to a back road. "It's alright. It's absolutely not my typical taste in music, but it isn't so insufferable that I'd ask you to change it." He scanned the road, before relaxing the slightest bit and speeding up. There were no speed trackers or hidden cop cars, and Hubert truthfully didn't care too much. He wasn't Ferdinand Von Aegir, whose father was a politician and therefore Ferdinand felt it necessary to drive no less than five miles _under_ the posted speed limit. In Hubert's opinion, the speed limits were suggestions and more tailored to inclimate weather than typical driving conditions. Nevertheless, if there were authorities around, he would follow the law to avoid getting himself and his passenger in trouble. That did not, however, stop him from going _j_ _ust_ above the speed limit to torment Ferdinand a little on the rare occasion the man needed a ride. This, off course, discouraged Ferdinand from asking for a ride, which Hubert had exactly _no_ issues with.

In truth, not many people explicitly asked for a ride from Hubert, and contrary to his public image, Hubert often (albeit indirectly) offered rides to those he was close enough to personally and in relation to their homes. And, in rare cases, there was an invitation to his home, should he be confident enough that his family wouldn't make assumptions (which they already had concerning Ferdinand, because for some reason they couldn't fathom Hubert being anywhere near _straight)_. And so, Hubert didn't actually have a problem with bringing Sylvain home with him for a few hours, as she would at least understand if he needed her to stay quiet while he worked on something, or that he needed his things in specific and shoes were _not_ allowed in his room. She could understand these things.

The remainder of the drive to Hubert's house was uneventful, and he pulled into the driveway before parking and ejecting the CD so Sylvain could put it away. While she slipped it into the case and put it away, Hubert walked to the passenger side of the car and opened her door, which caused her to jump a bit in surprise. Sylvain looked up at him with a grin, stepping out of the car and thanking him with a laugh. She grabbed her backpack and headed to the front door with him, waiting patiently while he unlocked it and taking her shoes off as soon as she got to the shoe rack. It was easier to deposit them here and not worry about them for the time she was in the house. She watched Hubert do the same, and quietly followed him up the stairs to the room.

Sylvain couldn't help but snort when she walked in, crossing her arms. "Will your parents be angry that you have a girl in your room while they're not home?" Calling herself a girl was still a bit odd, but it certainly felt better than the alternative. The amused snort it pulled from Hubert helped too. "Edelgard comes over often, they haven't and won't care." He answered, sitting at his desk and booting up his computer. He motioned to his bed, which was, as always, neatly made, and spoke without looking at Sylvain. "You're welcome to make yourself at home. I don't have any other chairs at the moment, unfortunately." He seemed a bit irritated by this fact, and continued after a brief distraction due to logging in. "My younger brother decided to 'borrow' my other chair, and it was so damaged I had no choice but to let him keep it. How he managed that, I haven't the foggiest." His phrasing pulled a laugh from Sylvain, and an amused snort from himself as well.

Sylvain dropped herself onto Hubert's bed with a dramatic sigh, laying with her head hanging off the end of it. "Well, if you have _no_ other options," She started, joking. "Your bed is fine, Hubert. Do whatever you need to, I can just chill here." Hubert nodded in acknowledgment, swiveling his chair so he could face his monitor. "I need to respond to a few emails with prospective colleges, and clarify about my gender and name." He pulled his keyboard to a more accessible spot, tapping away as Sylvain laid across his bed, silently thinking.

"Hey, Hubert," Sylvain started, voice faltering for a moment before continuing, softer. "Why did you pick the name Hubert? Like, seriously, _Hubert?_ It's a cool name, it's not that it isn't- but you don't really hear that name at all. And how did you even come up with it? Was it a family member or-" She was quickly cut off by Hubert, who was genuinely amused by her rambling. However, he was slightly confused on where this came from. "I chose the name from an older book that I read when I was much younger, I don't remember the title now. The name always stuck with me, though, and I'm satisfied with it and relate to it well. Why are you asking, Sylvain? Are you thinking about choosing a new name?" Hubert spun his chair around, facing Sylvain with a curious look.

Sylvain turned red, sitting up slowly and looking away sheepishly. "I'm.. Not sure. I don't like the name I have, obviously, and it's just.. Uncomfortable to hear, I guess? I know people don't know, and I can't really tell anyone besides a couple people, and I get that, but it's still.. Weird. But I don't know what name I'd even choose, and I don't have any inspiration either." She sighed, and pushed some of her fringe out of her eyes. "Having no name ideas can be a bit disheartening, that's true, and having no one to call you by a proper name can be more than a bit alienating. I could simply call you _Gautier_ if you preferred, until you decided on a name." Hubert offered, but stopped quickly when he saw Sylvain visibly wince and borderline recoil.

"I think I'd rather die than hear that, I think. I don't want to even remember my family name, unfortunately. And, it's not nearly as interesting as _Von Vestra_ , anyway." Sylvain wheezed out a laugh, more nervous air than amusement. She put her head in her hands, letting out a frustrated groan. "I can't win! Not until I figure out a name, anyways."

Hubert watched her for a moment, tilting his head ever so slightly, and then smirked. "Would you rather I call you something akin to _Darling?"_ He asked, mostly joking. Of course, he wouldn't mention it if he was unwilling to do so, but he expected Sylvain to laugh and wave him off. She did not wave him off.

Sylvain laughed from what could've been nerves, but was most likely from being flustered. Her head was quickly back in her hands, cheeks coloring so rapidly it was a miracle she didn't feel dizzy. Her typical flirtatiousness was gone, but she managed to find her voice after a moment, right before Hubert would have apologized. "Well, I wouldn't mind it," She began, pausing to breathe before continuing, "I'll never object to a handsome man calling me any sweet name, y'know, and I'd be happy to return the favor." She managed to tease just a bit, looking up at him with still-ruddy cheeks. Hubert was, admittedly, caught off guard, but responded in kind. "If you can find a pet name that's fitting for me, you're welcome to use it, Darling." He assumed that it would be a bit of a challenge, and he was curious as to what Sylvain would even come up with. "I will! So, we can rule out most of the normal ones, Doll sounds weird.. Huh, what would- Oh my goddess, I got it!"

Sylvain looked up at him, a confident grin on her face. "What about _Dearest?_ It's a good one, right?" She asked, still grinning, and her smile only widened when she saw Hubert's face turn red and shocked. Sylvain seemed quite proud of herself, and waited for his approval.

"It's, well- It's better than 'Doll' or 'sweetheart', and it isn't awful." Hubert relented, though he didn't put up much of a fight. It seemed to fit, and he then motioned for Sylvain to come to the computer. "I need you to read this paragraph."

"Sure, yeah, I can take a look." Sylvain stood and leaned over the back of the chair, arms resting on the back of it.

"Thank you, Darling."

**Author's Note:**

> My personal headcanons are a mishmash of things, and while I don't always headcanon Sylvain as transfemale, it's something I enjoy! This is lowkey inspired by "Lipstick Smile", by the author BlackBerryChai on this site! That fic is absolutely explicit though, so please don't read that one if you're a minor. I didn't tag this fic as inspired by it for that reason. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this fic! If you'd like to chat, my tumblr is @lethal-dose-art ! 
> 
> Have a great day y'all, drink some water!


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